“Sept. 11, 2011” by Allen E. Landver, NYC

September 11 October 26, 2011 01:54

topic: 9/11 medium: TEXT

as submitted for the “9/11” Open Call

check out Alan’s website!

Where was I on Sept 11? How about where wasn’t I? I was not by a typewriter. I was also not someone who claimed, but then stopped. Deserted for convenience. I was also not anywhere near the towers that exploded like misshapen little bricks
inside the black backdrop of a pixilated computer screen.
I was asleep. I was at my apt on the mattress, which was on the parquet floor. We had just built a wall that separated my room from my brother’s room. There was scattered furniture. Tiger Woods was a very big deal. This was before he was a rapist. We were newly minted on the West Side of Manhattan and we had been celebrating. I was still in a straw hat. This was during the years when I was living large, spending green on daddy’s green American Express card and surviving the consequences.
Do I still fear my father? Sometimes. Sometimes I fear the fear of my father. Does it mean that I’m not a man?
Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.
Ask yourself who you are and see how green your fear can be. It’s the story of Sept 11th, because that day, more than any other day, and those angels that went away that day, they are there to remind us to never be afraid to be afraid, not of those people who did that terrible thing, but of ourselves. Because if we’re not afraid, then how can we allow others in, and if we can’t allow others in, then how can we love, and if we can’t love, then we may as well…
Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary.

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