“5000 Characters on Being Connected” by Sebastian Michael, England

Borders September 4, 2011 16:00
topic: BORDERS medium: TEXT
as submitted for the “Connected” Contest

only connect you say i donʼt know what you mean i do know what you mean i mean i know
what youʼre saying i donʼt know what youʼre saying are you saying it to me or are you
saying it to me and five hundred and sixty-two other people who just happen to be no iʼm
not being difficult i am being difficult i am itʼs


youʼre over there
iʼm over here
charlie is in

he was in bahrain
now heʼs in dubai
i donʼt mind him being in dubai, we communicate we
play scrabble online
i donʼt miss him
i do miss him
but i donʼt you know heʼs got to heʼs no really heʼs got to
heʼs thirty, he has to
get on with things get on with
you know
is that a

only give in you say only surrender surrender to what to you? are you serious are you
saying i need to give myself over hand myself over
thatʼs such a combative term all right itʼs the opposite of combative itʼs submissive is it is
that what it is i reckon thatʼs what it is itʼs submissive you want me is that what youʼre
saying you want me to


to you
do you?

oh right iʼm being melodramatic.


oh you mean
not you necessarily
give in to someone allow someone in

i see

i am

i am alo
iʼm not alone
iʼm not all alone i have friends of course i have friends i go out donʼt i tomorrow tomorrow
evening iʼm seeing someone for a drink carl his name is iʼve met him at a party in cannes
of all places i know thatʼs three months ago but iʼve been busy heʼs been busy iʼve been to
germany switzerland heʼs been to berlin but not at the same time anyway i went to
hamburg and up to copenhagen i visited a friend there in copenhagen i know thatʼs not
germany i know itʼs denmark iʼm not saying in any case itʼs not as if i donʼt go out and go
places iʼm seeing david on tuesday weʼre going to the theatre and sam on friday weʼre
working on his piece the piece weʼre working on i told you about so itʼs not as if i donʼt
have any friends i


have friends iʼm not saying iʼm all alone in the world i have i am actually iʼm
no really
iʼm not just saying that itʼs true iʼm in touch with people i see them i actually go out and see
them itʼs not as if iʼm isolated iʼm keeping channels of communication iʼve got a friend
coming over what do i say friend heʼs a friend of a friend actually heʼs a friend of my
cousinʼs thatʼs who he is iʼve met him once when he came over with my cousin well hereʼs
an example heʼs sent me a message on facebook actually he may have sent me an email
so this isnʼt even strictly relevant anyway heʼs coming over for a couple of days and i look
forward to it what iʼm saying is iʼm not i am not


iʼm not but i am all on my own i have

i certainly donʼt have you youʼre a million miles away and youʼre telling me to get a grip a
grip i mean get a grip right on what what do you want me to get a grip on i donʼt have a
handle in sight iʼm not like that i canʼt just
latch on
to something to someone and donʼt get me wrong i impart myself i donʼt hold back like last
night last night is a good example last night i went out to a gig on my own and i didnʼt mind
being on my own i even thought about asking sam whether he wanted to come along sam
the guy iʼm working with on his project and then i thought no i want to go on my own i like
the crowd there and i like the music and heʼs too heʼs too much into himself if you see
what i mean heʼs good and exciting and i like him i really enjoy being with him but last
night i thought no letʼs not do that letʼs and thatʼs me just talking to myself letʼs go on our
own thatʼs still just me talking to myself and so i did and i had a brilliant time iʼd met this
other young character for a sort of half business half social drink i think he thought it was
business and i thought it was probably going to be more social so i ordered a mojito while
he was drinking mineral water but then for the second round i got him a vodka and tonic
but that meant that by the time i got to the gig after stopping off at the cafe for a bite to eat
iʼd had two mojitos and a bottle of beer so i was absolutely on top form i got myself a
guinness and plonked myself down at this table where there was a man roughly my age
sitting on his own and i just said do you mind if i join you and he said no of course and we
had a really good talk until the music started and then we stopped talking because we both
wanted to listen to the music and then we talked again and then i went outside for a smoke
while he bought me another guinness and then we listened to some more music and then

we talked a bit more and then he asked me which way am i going and i said earlʼs court
and he said well heʼs going to osterley so we got on the tube together and we talked and
then we said goodbye and i was totally happy because at no point did i think i must ask
him for his number or even remember his name but i actually felt you know i actually felt
for two or three hours yeah i did i felt if you like


but yes
why donʼt you
i donʼt know
we could skype or

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