“Queer is a broad word” by Trina Hines, NYC

topic: QUEER medium: TEXT

For me, queer is, it’s a really broad word, but specifically to me I use that to identify myself b/c I don’t see it as so black and white as the word gay or lesbian. It’s the epitome of the whole spectrum, so I’m somewhere under the spectrum of the umbrella of gayness. But I don’t identify with being bi, so for me queer is an identification, being a little gay, I’m a little straight, I’m a little of everything. You can’t put me in a box.
I don’t know if this is related, but when I was young, I’ve always been, um, afraid to walk with other girls too closely. I always felt like people would think I was gay so I didn’t want my friends to touch me and I didn’t know why that was, I didn’t think of myself as gay or whatever so it was really strange to be so paranoid at such a young age. Now that I’m older I feel that maybe the queerness was part of me my whole life and I just didn’t acknowledge it. I really think it’s a part of queer kid’s lives, I really feel like if you have a queer bone in your body you don’t acknowledge it. Some people are really gay and some people are mildly gay. Some know when they are young but for some it takes a while, like for me it didn’t happen until I was 23. Like my first girlfriend, I just thought of her as a friend. For me, it was a discovery, kind of like an accident. You just have to find it.