A Line From What They Said

topic: Monogamy medium: text

We asked a few people to describe to us what monogamy meant to them. These are a few of the short responses we received:

Dominique Gauvard (23 year old graduate student majoring in English from Rockaway Park, Brooklyn)- Monogamy is being completely romantically tethered to another human being.  People are constantly changing, but that love will remain a constant.  There is no attaching yourself to anyone else emotionally or physically.

Ilya Ryvin (22 year old film intern from Brooklyn)- Monogamy is abandoning some of your innate human desires, the ones that send blood rushing down south when that girl with the perfect tan wear a flowery summer dress walks by.  It’s making a promise to yourself and the person that you are with that you won’t stray, even though your penis might periodically tell you otherwise.

Jackelyn Mariano (22 year old immigrant community organizing major from Queens)- It is a choice and a practice.

Alisa Kolenovic (25 year old writer from the Montenegro)- Monogamy to me means devotion. It means promising yourself to someone you believe deserves you in your entirety. It means commitment, taking the plunge, and binding yourself to the person you love, not the person you are just attracted to. It does not mean you won’t feel attraction for someone else or that you don’t or won’t ever flirt with anyone else. It doesn’t mean you won’t check out another man or woman or that Brad Pitt suddenly becomes unappealing or that you’re not allowed to think he’s even slightly good-looking anymore. It means knowing and recognizing that other possibilities may exist around you, but you have chosen to rise above all the others and be monogamous with the person who deserves you–with the one who you love, respect, and admire the most, with the one you wouldn’t trade for any of the others–even though there are more out there, you do not want to look or search further. Because you already believe you’ve found the best.

Kristina Riemer (23 year old under graduate student who majored in English from New York, NY) – Monogamy is something they made chairs from in the 90’s.